Soooo.... I haven't told anyone outside of my agency and Josh, but I have decided not to move forward with the surrogacy. I finally got the contract last wednesday. It took M & S a month to decided to match with me, then another month to review the contract. I just simply do not want to do it now. 15 months ago when all this started, I wanted nothing more, but now I do not want it right now. I would rather keep my new job and focus on my family for a little while. Josh and I want to get married, and have a baby, and not necessarily in that order. I still very much want to be a GS but now I want to wait until we have a baby of our own. Wait until we are married. It may be better after we have our baby anyway to prove that my uterus is not broken, I hope. I did ovulate even though it was cd 53, making this a 67 or 68 day cycle. af is due in the next few days. My temp was still up this morning but the pms mood has hit hard. I feel like my fertility is fine, just frustrating that my cycles, potentially all of them, are so long. When I was a young teen before the bcp I had long cycles, but I dont think I really watched for a pattern. Since then I havent been off the pill for more than a few months at a time. So this will be a new thing for me to think about, to chart my cycles. Lets see if I can post my chart. I dont think it is going to work. My Chart
<a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/cad64">My Ovulation Chart</a>
[url=http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/cad64]My Ovulation Chart[/url]
I tried. I just do not feel good tonight, the left over pizza from dinner is not sitting well :( but anyway this blog will just have to become a regular blog, maybe a ttc blog, maybe a planning my wedding blog. I should probably try to update with my actual witty thoughts which I swear I have in real life. I am honestly pretty funny and overall a nice person :) Its just hard to remember blog alone, let alone remember the fun to read things.
