Ouch.

Ok so I am 32 weeks 5 days based on measurements or 32 weeks 2 days official actual dates whatever. Last night was miserable. My pelvis, legs, pelvic floor all hurt. I could barely get out of bed to pee, I was not a happy camper. On top of normal things, my lungs burn in the middle of the night when i get up. WTF is that? why is that happening? It seriously hurts to breath, it doesn't wake me up but when I wake up to roll over or run to the bathroom, it is awful. I can not describe how bad it hurts, but it makes me want to cry. Today the pain and pressure continues, wondering if I am starting to dilate. I can not have this baby before 35 weeks, so she has to stay in there no matter how much it hurts. Sciatica? check.  Heartburn? check. Miserable pregnant lady poor attitude? check. I was hoping to  make it to 35 weeks before the Get-This-Baby-Out-Of-Me kicked in :( not so much. Potentially, I have 7 weeks to go. I will be surprised if I make it all that way, and I will also be miserable. I still think 1/21/13 is go time. Too bad I will have to be on call at work the week before that :(  wanna see my 32 week belly? 

Still not pregnant with twins

That question never gets old :/ No I am not pregnant with twins. Yes I am sure. As sure as one person can be with all the technology available to me. I do feel more like 34 weeks pregnant than 32 weeks. I do think baby had a growth spurt over the weekend. But I know I still have weeks of this left. ☺ I have ventured a guess, maybe too early, for my delivery date. I guess 1/21/2013. Josh said 2/3/13 this morning. He doesn't remember his guess from last week :o) Today is brought to me by back pain apparently ☺ I suppose it comes with the territory. I went to the obgyn friday, baby is head down ish. Her head is curled into my hip, so she is a little crooked. No one is worried about that yet, still plenty of time to straighten out. If she doesn't then its a c section, which I am also fine with. I'm not one of these women who feel they have to deliver "naturally" by any sense of the word. I trust the medical staff around me. No one is trying to hurt me or my baby or giving me bad advice to get more money in their pocket. Oh! So I was watching a video about breast feeding (because I do not want a lactation consultant to see the girls. I know its silly after pushing a baby from my body, that I would be so modest about my chest, but I am, and I intend to stay that way) and I think it was sponsored by Ameda. One of the big breast pump companies at any rate. It was not too bad until about 6 minutes in when they started going on and on about how sickly non breast fed babies could be. It makes me so mad that they toss this stuff around like it is fact. It is not fact. It is not black and white. Is is not like breast fed babies have super human immune systems and will live longer and healthier than formula fed babies. They went as far to claim breast fed babies have a lower risk of SIDs. So what are you trying to tell me? That I am putting my baby in danger by not breast feeding?! That is ridiculous and cruel to put a new mother through that emotional wringer. They said formula fed babies will have more allergies, diabetes, and more illness in general than breast fed babies. Zoe had only formula from day one. She did not have her first illness until 14 months. She has no allergies, except to rabbits. She is perfectly healthy. Grr. It just makes me so mad that "they" spew this crap to vulnerable emotional new moms who only want the best for their baby. Nothing is going to happen if you do not breast feed. Jebus!!!! 
all kinds of people only formula feed their babies  that blog seems to be a very supportive place, stories of women who couldn't breast feed, who didn't want to breast feed, whatever the case may be. 

Point being: I will not say boo to you about your choice to feed your baby breast milk or formula. Why do you have any right to say anything to me about my choice. Live and let live people. 

Of course, I think you should be informed equally in both sides before making a decision. That's just common sense though, isn't it? 

Does 32 weeks = 8 months?

Tomorrow I will be 32 weeks based on the last ultrasound (which brought me 3 days closer so that is the date I am using ☺) I think it is funny how seriously some women take the weeks vs months debate. Yes I know that each month really doesnt have just 4 weeks in it, but why make things so complicated?! Pregnancy last for 40 weeks according to every medical professional under the sun, most of us know that we are really not pregnant those first two weeks, and only marginally pregnant the next two weeks (as the fertilized egg travels and implants and becomes the zygote, embryo whatever) I got my positive pregnancy test on June 1 2012. So I have known that I am pregnant for the last 6.5 months. Wow it feels much longer than that ☺ I'm at that stage where when people ask how far along I am, and I answer in weeks, they get confused. Well so am I. I'm somewhere between 7 and 8 months. I have 8 weeks left. I have 35 days until full term (37 weeks) 

Josh has made the guess that the baby will be born on 2/9/2013. Not a bad guess. Its a Saturday. I am not sure. Knowing that Zoe was born 3 days early from her best guess due date which I now think was a whole week off and should have been 12/22/2003, I am leaning to a guess of 2/3/2013 for this baby. Or I am also calling 2/14/2013 as well because that really could happen. Not that I want to go past my due date....

Since last Saturday she has been pushing into my hips.... almost like pushing into the hollows of my pelvis. And she has been giving my cervix one hell of a beating for about two weeks now. Today the pressure is pretty constant. I've had to stand up and move around twice already and its not even noon yet. If I stand and sway it seems to lull her back to sleep and I can get some relief from the cervical beatings. Also my legs are hurting, which probably happened with Zoe but I don't remember. My ankles and calves ache. Chewing on ice makes me happy, I don't necessarily crave it, but when it happens that I get ice from my water into my mouth and I can crunch it, it really makes me happy ☺ 

Lets see if I can add a picture from 29 weeks   

That worked well ☺ lets see if I can add a progression pic 

9 Weeks To Go.

So we are in the home stretch here with only 9 weeks until my due date. I am 30 weeks 5 days pregnant. 

Its funny how nick names.....stick I guess. When I was pregnant with Zoe a lady from work called me Little Mama the last few months. Now 9 years later, different state, different job, different lady, I am again Little Mama.  Perhaps the first step into losing my identity to motherhood :) Not that I mind, but some days I would rather be Liz than Mom. Some days I would like to close the bathroom door without immediately catching Zoe's attention that I must be doing something without her. And when she finds the door locked, she shakes it. Some days it is hard to live within the knowledge that in just a few short years Zoe will be shutting me out in favor of teenage secrecy. She wants to share everything with me right now. She wants to be around me, still, all the time. She would still be sleeping in my bed every night if I let her :) She is my baby girl and I really hope that our relationship stays strong in her teen years.  I am actually really excited to be able to go through this whole thing again. All the little girl things that I did with Zoe I will get the chance to do again. 

So, at the end of this pregnancy, seems to odd to say that already, I am tired. I found my journal from the last 6-7 weeks of pregnancy with Zoe. I will have to read it and pick out all the symptoms of approaching labor, so that I can trick myself into thinking I have them right now....er....I mean, so that I can watch out for those signals :) I was surprised to read that I had a ton of braxton hicks contractions at the end with Zoe. I do not remember having any. So it would seem the amount I have now is not surprising. I think about 34-35 weeks with Zoe the first stages of labor started. There was lots of pressure, pain, contractions, restless energy all night, tired all day. Then I started to dilate and efface. I wonder how this pregnancy will go....if sitting at a desk all day will make any difference, since I was standing all day with Zoe. The baby was unusually active yesterday and is less active than normal today. So of course that freaks me out. She hasn't even had the hiccups today. Maybe she is just tired from all her activity yesterday. Maybe she just got herself into a position where I feel less. I'm much more nervous about everything this time around. How do I know that its all ok?  I guess now I am just worried the cord will be wrapped around her neck or have a knot or something like that, something you can't predict or stop really. Have to just leave it in God's hands and have faith. 

 Aside from being a worrywart mom, I am tired, just slightly swollen, lots of braxton hicks and lately cramping. Back pain is back, not quite as bad as in the first trimester yet. Indigestion after lunch and dinner most days. Itchy hands. I have yet to crave the smells I did with Zoe, but reading about craving sand makes me think it sounds like a great idea and I want to go roll in it and sniff it, feel it, mmmmmmmm. Did I mention I am tired? Maybe its more like exhausted. And have almost felt like morning sickness was making a come back. It really is that the first and last trimesters are icky. The second trimester is amazing :) 

The baby's room is all set. I think we have everything we need for her. Maybe some small things that would be helpful to have, but with Christmas around the corner I will wait to buy any more. I am so excited to meet my newest little baby. And to see what she looks like. What color her hair is. Will she have Josh's nose? Only 37 days until full term, then any day after that is a good day for baby :)