So hard to wait :)

Still after all this time, I am impatient. Maybe its not even that. I am just excited and really looking forward to the next steps. I really feel like the acupuncture has helped! My cold has gone away and my lower belly feels full. Feels more like it did when it was uncomfortable a couple weeks ago. This is the longest I have been on estrogen. I feel like the Vit E is doing something too :) I keep checking my email. Like the clinic is going to know this early when the ER will be. The donor has only been on her meds since friday (7 days), so its way too early to know. I have heard of women stimming in only 9 days though :) I feel like maybe I should have tried to squeeze one more acupuncture in, but 3 sessions in 12 days seems good?! Right!? This is going to work. I hope the morning sickness is not too bad. I wonder if acupuncture can help with that too? I read somewhere that one woman swears something helped, I'll have to go back and see if that was in the acupuncture thread. I think I will have to start PIO in roughly 6 days! Nervous!!  transfer time frame is 7-13 days away :) I went to SMO to find the acupuncture survey and this is the woman that I was thinking of "My lining on the same med protocol increased by 2 mm after acupuncture. Transferred 2, delivered twins. I also had almost no side effects from the meds (whereas my previous cycle I had them all, it seemed) and the easiest first trimester of all 3 of my pregnancies. (My first two pregnancies were singletons that rendered me useless from exhaustion and avoiding most foods from food aversions.) Acupuncture is amazing!!!"   I'm sure there is some etiquette about copying someone's words, but it's a public forum, so I think I'm ok.  I think even 2mm would be enough to get us to transfer :) I kept reading and this woman did go more often that I will. Tomorrow is Halloween. We are having a pot luck at work and my dept is dressing up :) Then its trick or treat time, crap I need to buy candy to hand out. Then its friday, which is nothing special, but the day I hope to hear from the clinic and my next acupuncture. I need to walk more. Man I am all over the place today. I had better stop trying to get my thoughts to be in any kind of order, and really stop trying to write them down. :) 

Acupuncture

Last Friday (10/25) I had my first ever acupuncture treatment. It was flippin amazing :) She (the acupuncturist) spent so much time getting to know what I wanted the acupuncture to do, and about other parts of my health/life history that could shed light on my uterus. She put me at ease, was just that type of person. So warm and confident. So what does acupuncture feel like? Some needles I could feel and some I did not feel at all. None of them hurt. Then as time passed, I felt warm and heavy and completely relaxed. I felt calm and at peace, and let go of all my worries. I still feel that way! :) Very Zen!! She gave me a list of food that would help my blood circulation and foods to avoid. Not necessarily specific food, but groups. Like protein is good, avoid too much cold food or raw salads. Cook grains thoroughly for easy digestion. She suggested two chinese herbs to try that she thinks would really help, but I am not ready to approach the RE with those yet, and we only have 9-16 days until transfer anyway, not much time for them to take affect. So if we have to cycle again, I will bring those up. She said definitely yoga could help. I tried to eat pineapple core on saturday, but only managed two small pieces. Its tough. And not very flavorful. I did drink most of the juice from it, for whatever good that could do :) One of the IM's from my cycle group on SMO suggested Vitamin E, which I have emailed the NC to ask about. AND she just emailed me back, that it is fine to add Vit E. I feel like I am giving her all she's got right now. I know I could try the herbs and maybe other stuff, but I'm feeling quite full with what I'm doing :) I have not emailed with A & R in a few weeks, but feel ok with that. We all know we are all busy :) Getting really close now. We should hear friday or monday when the retrieval will be, and therefore when the transfer *should* be, but definitely what days we need to fly out. EEK! YAY!!

Well, Crap!

I'll probably keep this short, as it is not the news I wanted to be sharing. My lining check this morning showed my lining as 4.5 mm. Per usual. Deja vu from 2 years ago. Except I am on double, no TRIPLE the estrogen. I already asked if I could add acupuncture or Viagra. Now just have to wait to hear from the clinic. I know that 2 weeks is still plenty of time to make this lining grow. I'm just not sure what they can do. Hopefully they stim the egg donor and can retrieve and freeze her eggs. Maybe I could try a natural cycle. Or maybe I just need longer on estrace? Maybe I am just a slow grower? I have never been on meds longer than 18 days. Today is day 15. Second cycle last time on day 15 my lining was exactly the same as today. Maybe give it one more week, maybe adding the acupuncture and/or viagra too?? I have  no answers, just have to wait for the people who do have the answers. I feel awful though. Maybe I am meant to be a TS? Well I know GS can have natural cycles too with a frozen transfer. The clinic will not wait past 1 oclock mtn time to get the results, so we have 1.5 hours left on that clock. I will update when I hear something. 

Update - The NC emailed me back, they still do not have my results 5 hours after my appt. She said as a last resort they could add injectable estrogen. That gives me hope, but I'm betting they won't because of my E2 level. I don't even know what it is, but I'm betting high. I feel fine though, so maybe CCRM's lab is crap :) Maybe I can talk them into adding the injectable estrogen. Or patches? I might do the acupuncture myself. I did look into several places, if I can find where I wrote that info down.... NC may not even call me until tomorrow. So much for making me use an RE's office to insure same day results. HA! 

10/25/2013 - Update - Ok the NC emailed me this morning. I was hoping she would call so I could ask questions  but I'm happy with the email. She said that Dr D is fine with proceeding as scheduled. That my e2 was over 1,000 so my lining should continue to grow. And I have 2 weeks still to let it do its thing. They are starting the donor's stim tonight and will contact me with transfer details. They didnt even ask for a follow up ultrasound. I am stunned, in a good way. The good Dr says my lining will continue to grow, and so it shall :) I've never let it go this long on the estrace so, it seems like it should. I scheduled an acupuncture appointment for this afternoon anyway, as I have read that it can do wonders. So I guess Count Down to Transfer continues!! 12-17 days, less than 3 weeks!!! EEk! :)

Pictures!

Just trying to pass the time! Only 1.5 days till ultrasound! (How am I going to survive the two week wait?!)
so here are some pictures from the last couple weeks

Brooke eating her apples

Brooke eating my apple

her outfit this morning 10/22

baby in a basket with a balloon

at the pumpkin patch, in the corn maze

Daddy's girl

gonna be trouble :)

Zoe and her friend at the pumpkin patch

I'm not sure what came over me, as I usually never let Zoe have friends over (she can not keep her room clean, which is a requirement of company) but not only did I let her friend spend the night friday, I brought her with us to Anderson Farms in Erie, CO. It was not too bad. The girl is not extremely well behaved but we didn't have any major issues. She liked to throw rocks, which pushed my buttons, and she told me I looked like a teenager :( but overall it was fairly painless. We all got nice pumpkins and everyone got fresh air and sunshine! It was pretty warm too (see Zoe in her tank top) a nice break from the chilly weather we've been having.

Anyway, I'm feeling great. Which I am now worried is a bad thing. But I like this dose of estrogen. Sure I can be cranky when I'm driving :) but otherwise I feel happy, and calm and nice :) I think I have gained 2 lbs. Probably just my bad eating or maybe some bloat, or maybe the estrogen makes me hungry! I am still on a tiny bit of Lupron too. So who knows. 

Count down to transfer - 15 to 20 days away! 

A Good Dream

So last night I dreamed that I was at my ultrasound appointment next week, and the tech, very excitedly, told me my lining was 10 mm! We were both so happy! :) Fingers crossed this dream comes true :) 

I feel like my estrogen must be doing something. While my uterus does not really feel as full like it did on Monday, I seem a bit bloated and I think I have a small cold sore on my lip, which happened early in my pregnancy with Brooke and after delivery (when my hormones were going up and down) only 5 more days until we find out. So I don't really have much to say. We are going to the pumpkin patch tomorrow with some friends and our girls. That's it! 

Review of past cycles

So out of curiosity I went back to check dates of my two cancelled cycles. 11/4/11 start estrace 2 mg 2x a day. 11/11/11 2 mg  3x a day. 11/21/11 cycle cancelled with a lining of 4.3. On 12/2/11 start estrace 2mg x2 a day. 12/16/11 cycle cancelled with a lining of 4.5.

So the first cycle I was on 4 mg estrace for 7 days then 6mg for 11 days. Cycle cancelled after only 18 days on estrogen. Cycle two was 4 mg estrace for 15 days before cycle was cancelled.

This time I have been on 12 mg estrace 7 days so far, 7 days more until my lining check. Then another 14 days until the earliest possible transfer. This protocol is much longer. I bet that will do the trick. Maybe my lining is just a slow grower. Maybe it really just takes it some time to reach the nice fluffy 7 mm they want to see. My natural cycles are 48 days long with a 14 day luteal phase, so maybe 29 days on estrogen will be enough to grow my lining. usually I ovulate around day 30-34 so that could work :) I am definitely curious to see what my lining is next thursday. So far away ;)

Estrogen Day 6

I am feeling pretty good. Moody perhaps. It's delicately snowing outside today and the stupid prenatal vitamin gave me fish burps. My uterus is getting a little annoyed and its letting me know that. It feels better with a little heat. Hopefully that is a good sign, hopefully that means that things are happening in there. 3 weeks away from the earliest we would need to be in CT. Probably about 3.5 weeks from transfer! Yesterday I felt pretty yucky. Not sure what that was related to. (I think a little constipation was the culprit) But I still feel a bit dizzy. 8 days until my next ultrasound and bloodwork. I am still afraid of the PIO. I can't decide if I want to ice the area first, or just do it. I am suppose to take those shots in the morning and may not have time to ice anyway. I don't usually allow myself enough time to get ready as it is. Let alone having to add any extra steps. We shall see. Nothing much else to report. Blogger keeps giving me an error....

Begin Estrace and Aspirin, lower Lupron.

So it was confirmed as ok to begin my 6 pills daily of estrace this morning, plus adding baby aspirin and lowering my lupron dose in half. I had side effects from the estrogen when I was only taking 2 pills a day. So this should be fun. Oh, I found this interesting tidbit online yesterday, I will just copy what I posted to SMO:

So, I read something on the internet and I want know what everyone thinks of this ...... I was searching for women who had their E2 come back too high after Lupron. One woman said after x amount of time with her levels still not considered suppressed her RE sent her blood to an outside lab to be tested. well lo and behold her levels were perfectly suppressed. The reason was that she produced a protein in her blood that could pop as E2 with some testing methods. The outside lab's method only detected the actual estrogen and not the protein. My curiosity was peaked because in my last cycles, I was only on 2 estrace pills a day (4mg) and my E2 was coming back over 2500. I am using the same monitoring clinic, so same lab for this cycle. My last RE would not increase my estrace dose because of my levels of E2, even though my lining was only 4.5 mm. -- This cylce however I am on 6 pills a day (12 mg) and my E2 will not be checked again until 10/24. So I just found all that very interesting.

I think maybe I have that! :) But we shall see. Obviously my E2 was not high enough to prevent me from starting the estrace, and it was low enough to seem relatively suppressed, combined with my uterus and ovaries. Chugging along. I promised pictures of my bracelet. So here it is. It's the Zen Dharma Stone bracelet from Joseph Nogucci. I bought it Here .

Its green for fertility, and Zen to keep me calm. I wanted to get both sides in the pictures because opposite the Buddha is a very pretty and sparkly ball :) So for the next 14 days I will Keep Calm and Cycle On :) then they will check my E2 again, which will probably be sky high, but hopefully my lining will be fluffy soft and welcoming to two little embryos. I wonder if I have a green nail polish? I'm sure I do somewhere :)  Here's to staying calm, happy, and positive for 2 weeks. (Then I have 2 weeks until transfer, then another 2 weeks until Beta)

Baseline

Well I heard from my CT clinic, that my E2 is still higher than they like, but the coordinator feels the RE will want to start estrace tomorrow anyway. However, she can not confirm until tomorrow morning. So I am to stay on my current dose of Lupron and not start estrace until I hear from her. The u/s looked good according to the tech, but those results were not commented on during my call with CT. Just one time I want the results from one of these calls to be "yep perfect just what we wanted" well maybe my next call will go that way. How weird my body is. First cycles lining is too suppressed, will not grow. This cycle, ovaries are not as suppressed as we want to see. My E2 seemed to run high in my last cycles, but never had any effect on my uterus??!! GAH, I don't know what it all means!! :) but tonight I take same lupron dose, and I will  bring my estrace and aspirin to work tomorrow to await word of directions.

CD 1 AF - quick note

Well AF (finally, thankfully) arrived today. Normally she is quick to show up after the end of bcp, but she took a couple extra days this time. However I am pleased with her presence and her efforts. Things are going well. Today I have had bad headaches, which sucks. But they are not too too terrible. Manageable I would say. I have a pot roast in the crock pot for dinner, so at least I don't have to cook :) Brooke had her first instance of bed head this morning. I loved it! I should have got a picture! :) She has moved on to the '3' foods now, such a big girl, and trying to say Ba. My mom only wants her to say mama and doesn't seem too interested in other consonants.  Less than two days until my baseline appointment with CCRM. Then I can start the mega dose of estrogen. Based on AF I don't think I am as suppressed as I was last time I cycled and that gives me great hope. I have a special gift to myself coming in the mail today :) I will have to upload a picture of it. I really really really want to have two babies for A and R. I really really really like them so much :) And I really really want to be pregnant and give birth again. Its like getting a tattoo. It kinda sucks and kinda hurts but it's still really fun and makes you want to do it again and again.