Cycle Canceled :(

Well my uterus did not listen. It did nothing. Was still a 4.3 this morning. The cycle is officially canceled this month. The clinic is giving me 5 days of provera to trigger af. Then I am to call the clinic on CD1 and go from there. Hopefully we can get a transfer 12/30. The eggs were retrieved today and will be fertilized and frozen. My E2 level was great at 2659 today, cd20 and my progesterone was really low where they want it. But for some reason my lining just was not  doing anything. Of course they want an optimal cycle, I want it too. I am so majorly bummed. But this first journey seems to be going this way, so c'est la vie. The clinic just emailed me to say it is too early to talk about potential transfer dates and that they will not be open for transfers that week. Looks like January or later. Boy am I bummed. I want this to work so bad. And for it to be because of me really sucks. We got everything going so quickly after the egg donor choice, and now its my body that is not cooperating. Why? :( I have more estradiol being delivered on wednesday. I wonder if I will even be taking it. The clinic said to go back to taking it orally 2x a day. But not sure for how long. If we are taking the month of december off, then I should probably not be taking it??? I dunno. Now that I feel like I have bugged the clinic too much for one day. I guess I will ask about the estradiol when I give them my day 1.  So So Bummed :(  I'm really trying not to get discouraged.

it's definitely MY uterus

My uterus is a lot like me :) it procrastinates and is on the thin side. Yesterday I was really hoping for amazing uterine progress. Not so much. I was a 4.3 with a great triple stripe. My hormone levels look great, its just not creating a fluffy uterus yet. The clinic simply said it is slow to grow and they hope to see it thicken up on US monday. I wasnt sure if they were wrong and meant tuesday since that is when I was scheduled, but I went ahead and moved the US to monday anyway :)  My uterus better do its job over the next three days, just like I am. Working really hard to get things on my desk cleared up etc etc and not go into transfer with things waiting at work or at home. I have noticed more cramping the past two days which I hope equates to lining progress. I really need a 6.3-6.5 at minimum monday! I was not even a little worried about this part before. I just assumed that my body would do exactly what it needs to do.  Maybe all these US make me worry for nothing. The blood work has come back great the whole time. Maybe by monday we will have an 8! :) I was hoping for an 8 yesterday but I knew that was expecting a lot.  I do have faith though that if I got to a 4.3 in 7 ish days that in another 8 ish days I could be an 8 for transfer. Just visualize a thick lining :) Nothing is going to stop the transfer now, I will stay positive and just believe :) I sound like a dork but whatever. I've got lots of pep talks from SMO and a mean mom glare to get my uterus into gear. I will spend all weekend imagining my lining doubling :)  I will be back monday!

Kitten update

I'm glad to see my pictures are back to sideways. The kitty is doing good. She is on 3-4 different medicines and I hope they are working. Her eyes look 100x better than when she came home. I can't even describe how red and swollen they were. It was almost the worst things Ive seen in my life. She is eating well and chillin in the downstairs bathroom most of the time. I figure that its good for her to sleep and eat and get better and not to be over stimulated. But tonight I may try to get some activity out of her.

I go tomorrow for another US and blood work. Come on uterus!! I had been feeling lots of twinges and achiness but haven't felt much the last couple days. Still taking the estrogen 3x a day. I have not missed a dose. I *hope* I have a nice lining this week. I will be devastated if this cycle is canceled. I painted my fingernails yellow last night and my toes green. Fertility colors.  Fingers, toes, everything crossed for lining build up!

A Saved Kitten and A Silent Uterus

First Josh found a poor starved kitten in a parking lot. The little thing's eyes were crusted shut. It was still there a few days later and I convinced him we needed to save the poor thing. It couldn't see the danger of all the trucks and people around. He picked it up and took it to his hotel. Fed the poor baby and gave it a bath. Now its on its way home with Josh. The plan is not to keep the little thing just to get it healthy and adopt it out to someone. IF we don't get too attached to the sweet thing. I have some pictures, but they are a little out of order:

But before all that happened, I had my ultrasound and blood work. My hormone levels in my blood were great, but my uterus hadn't changed. So the clinic decided I need 3 pills of estrogen a day. 6mg. Oh and they are no longer taken orally. We are trying a more direct to the uterus delivery method :) Fun times indeed! :) It dawned on me today just what I am putting my body through in this process. I am, of course, ok with it all. Its just weirder than I thought :) So I hope this new dose and method of estrogen gives me a super uterine lining and everything moves forward as planned. Lets go, Uterus, Lets Go!!!

Also these meds are making me lose weight?! Not a lot but I am officially down 1 pound. Just means I am going to be gaining more weight while pregnant. Only 12 days until we fly to CT!! :)

Surprise!

Josh is coming home early!!! YAY!! If I wasn't so exhausted from hormones and some sort of buggy cold and the full moon this week, I would jump for joy.

Only 15 days until transfer, how I still have 3 appts in that time, I dunno. I hope my ultrasound and blood work look beautiful tomorrow. Now that Josh will be home my stress level will be way down, that is super good for the baby growing abilities! :)  Josh and I are getting serious about getting married, I really hope to get engaged and start planning our wedding soon too :) 12/12/12!! I don't care if that is a wednesday. Most of my relatives have to fly in anyway, so make a weekend ski trip out of it!

I can not wait to be pregnant for S & S!! They will be such great parents. I got them a baby blanket/doggie. I think I will give them that when I see them for transfer. I was going to mail it to them with a positive pregnancy test, but now I'd rather not :)  Yay for dreams coming true. 
A picture of our halloween costumes: 

Hormones!!

I just took my first estradiol pill. Tomorrow I will take them twice a day. Transfer is T minus 3 weeks and counting :) Flights - Check. Rental car - Check. Hormones - Check. Josh comes home in 14 days. I better put some more effort into cleaning. I think it would be nice for him to come home and be surprised that there are no more boxes. I'm afraid that I am going to cry when he comes home thanks to the estrogen. And apparently taking the estradiol equals instant hot flash. Well maybe that coupled with my excitment :) things are happening so quickly now. The rental car and advancing some funds is pretty tricky. The hotel is the only thing left now. :) JUST SO EXCITED! :) I sent S&S a pretty sappy note saying how happy I am to be helping them and I hope they are just as excited. After 11 months of working towards this, it just doesnt seem real. I hope life isn't boring after all of this is over.

First Appt with the Monitoring Clinic -or- The Day of Wasted Tampons

This morning was the first appt at CCRM. What was suppose to be a 30 min appt, turned into a 70 min appt. I was an hour late to work and was not a happy camper. Despite my annoyance my blood pressure was still 106/82 which is nice to see. I am on CD 2 today and had my ultrasound first. I guess things looked fine, she looked at my uterus and measured both ovaries. She had a great poker face. Next was blood work, but as I was waiting, they took me and said I needed an IVF physical. Ummm....What?! I do not have time for this, why is this needed? I went ahead with it though, if they need it whatever, lets do it. So the MA said I would need to fill out questionnaires, get vitals, finger poke blood and a full pelvic/breast exam. So I'm yet again undressed and wearing paper. A doctor comes in, goes over the papers, gets some vitals, does the breast exam and lo and behold no pelvic is needed. Waste of a tampon. But I should not have another af for a year, so I shouldn't need tampons for a long time. Anyway, then I go for the blood draw. That went easy. The results will be sent to NE Fertility, and I should get a call with instructions. I'm pretty sure the physical was CCRM policy but they said NEF ordered it. Its already 330 in CT so I hope to hear in the next couple hours about the results. I hope everything is fine and I can start estradiol.  I think I will post one of the before pictures. Like a true woman, even though my body is great, I still don't necessarily love it completely. And for record keeping purposes I was 101.0 lbs on 11/1/11. What other stats change with pregnancy? Weight, blood pressure.... I guess those are the biggest ones. I'll update later if I get any interesting instructions.