Sorry to leave ya hanging. Its been a bit of a whirlwind.
My instincts were right that Dr D recommended a new GS. I was bummed but felt I knew it was coming. The guys sent me a very nice email, which made me feel great. My agency was willing to have my records reviewed and attempt to match me again, but I declined. I offered to be a TS for a really good friend of mine at work, but she needs a year to save, so we have a 24 month plan basically. After that I posted an ad as a TS on SMO looking for the right match. I have one really amazing gay couple I am speaking with and a local couple just emailed me, but I don't have as good a feeling about them. We shall see how it all plays out. I could go into so much more detail, but I am very busy at work right now.
until next time...
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Thursday, January 16, 2014
WTF is wrong with my uterus
So.... my lining actually got thinner!! I read about another surro who's lining thinned and it turns out she ovulated. I emailed the NC to find out. I feel like Dr D will recommend to A and R to find a new GS. Which totally bums me out, but I am not ready to give up on this dream. I am leaning towards TS however, with the possibility of a natural FET only as a GS. Have to wait and find out what the clinic wants. My agency has also reached out to the clinic. Sorry for the short update. But I don't have many details as of yet.
Monday, January 13, 2014
10 days until transfer
It's getting so close! I am so excited. I emailed with R today because CCRM charged him twice. Not sure if one was for the ultrasound and one was for the blood work, but he is going to call and find out. I am so bloated! Which I take as a good thing. I am moody too, this delestrogen must be doing something that the estrace did not :) I still have not received my payment for the start of meds. I don't like to talk about money because that's not why I am doing this, but it should have arrived weeks ago. I emailed my agency twice with no response! Not sure what to do now, I do not want to make a big deal about this, but seriously??! I'm hoping one of the ladies there got my email and that initiated a check. Why they have not emailed back, I do not know. :(
The next two days are going to be very busy. Tomorrow I have to work the early shift so I can take Zoe to her first ADHD psych appointment. I also have acupuncture at 11:30 and the delestrogen shot at night. Then on Wednesday I have my ultrasound and blood work at 8am and then a meeting with Zoe's school at 2:45pm. Hopefully I will get the results from the monitoring appt that day and not thursday, the extra wait is soooo long :)
I have upped my Vitamin E to 3 pills a day which is 1200 iu. Not sure really what mg of that is, either 540 mg or 805 mg depending on if the pills are a natural form or a synthetic form. I upped the L arginine to 3 pills as well, which is 1500 mg. this : "Vitamin E & L-Arginine
The next two days are going to be very busy. Tomorrow I have to work the early shift so I can take Zoe to her first ADHD psych appointment. I also have acupuncture at 11:30 and the delestrogen shot at night. Then on Wednesday I have my ultrasound and blood work at 8am and then a meeting with Zoe's school at 2:45pm. Hopefully I will get the results from the monitoring appt that day and not thursday, the extra wait is soooo long :)
I have upped my Vitamin E to 3 pills a day which is 1200 iu. Not sure really what mg of that is, either 540 mg or 805 mg depending on if the pills are a natural form or a synthetic form. I upped the L arginine to 3 pills as well, which is 1500 mg. this : "Vitamin E & L-Arginine
A study published
by Fertility and Sterility in April, 2010, showed that both vitamin E
supplementation and/or L-Arginine may aid in increasing the thickness of the
endometrium in women with thin uterine lining <8mm. Researchers wanted to
see if these supplement could increase uterine radial artery (uRA) blood flow.
Results showed vit. E given at 600mg a day increased uRA in 72% of patients and
endometrial thickness (EM) in 52% of patients. 6g of L-Arginine given per day
resulted in an 89% increase in uRA, with an increase of EM in 67% of patients.
The effect of vitamin E was examined in the endometrium. Results showed that vitamin E increased glandular epithelia growth, development of blood vessels and vascular endothelial growth factor protein* expression within the endometrium.
I never did update with the results of my first monitoring appt. They said my lining is developing nicely. They did not change my meds. The lady who took my blood was new and messed up the first stick, so another lady had to come and try my other arm. Luckily they had success there. My first arm is still sore but miraculously did not bruise.
The effect of vitamin E was examined in the endometrium. Results showed that vitamin E increased glandular epithelia growth, development of blood vessels and vascular endothelial growth factor protein* expression within the endometrium.
I never did update with the results of my first monitoring appt. They said my lining is developing nicely. They did not change my meds. The lady who took my blood was new and messed up the first stick, so another lady had to come and try my other arm. Luckily they had success there. My first arm is still sore but miraculously did not bruise.
Monday, January 6, 2014
So hard to focus
I really should be working but all I can think about is surrogacy :) and how much I want to be pregnant for A and R. My uterus has been heavy and achy for the last 3-4 days, Hope that is a good sign. I don't really have anything to update. Only 16 days and we fly back to CT. A shorter visit this time which I think I like better. Have been thinking about future surrogacies and what those might look like. Things I would do differently. Every time I match with someone, I learn new things that are important to me. Plus things change as I get older as well. I have acupuncture tomorrow and lining check bright and early Wednesday morning. I am trying to keep all nervous out of my system, but it can be difficult to do. I hung up some maternity shirts in my closest so that I can look at them every day. Keep positive images in my head. I know my lining did a great job growing on 28 days of estrace. I only get 18 days of it this cycle. Well things could be pushed back a week to give it more time to grow. So Wednesday's ultrasound can not be negative. Either I am on track or my track gets longer. I have drank all my pineapple juice, not had any caffeine or alcohol what so ever. I've managed to drink 2 ensures over the weekend. My acupuncturist really feels that I will be fine. That since my lining did grow well enough last time, that it will again. Think fluffy thoughts, think fluffy thoughts :) January really does work out so much better for everyone, so I think things happened just the way they were meant to :) I put a new quote up at my desk to read every day.
"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"
"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"
Friday, January 3, 2014
32 pills and 2 shots in one day?! Plus DD drama
So on new years eve, first day of meds, I ended up taking 32 pills and 2 shots! :) Currently I am on estrace, aspirin, prenatal vitamins, tea pills, vitamin e and L arginine. Plus SQ lupron and IM delestrogen(tues and fri) :) I've been drinking pineapple juice in attempt to cover that base as well, and I have given up caffeine in the forms of coffee and soda. I had acupuncture yesterday that was my best session so far. I can't get enough of it! Next appt is Tuesday the 7th with my ultrasound at 8 am Wednesday the 8th. I don't think I've hit 32 pills again, as I have replaced one dose of tea pills with the L arginine. I've already had a couple days of pretty serious cm and a pretty good bloat going on. Oh and I think I have managed to gain 2 lbs! :) My ensure will be here tomorrow, so I will get extra protein and what not :) Less than 3 weeks to go!!!
So....DD#1 is having a hard time lately. She got the official ADHD diagnosis. Things have been difficult at school and a little at home as well. I am not very organized but thats ok for me. On the other hand not being very organized is really hard on her. She recently made the decision to only go to her dad's house once a month. He is not taking very kindly to that. He just threw the word court at me, which I think would be a good idea but an expensive idea. I feel it is more important for her to be successful at school and establish relationships with adults that will treat her with respect than to continually have to deal with the feelings of neglect the inconsistency causes her. She doesn't feel as secure at her dad's house and he can not put her needs above his own. He doesn't even see what he is doing. He has moved 10-11 times in the last 10 years and out of 26 weekends over the last year he has rescheduled 15. She pretty much stays in her room, according to her, while she is there, and does not like the routine her dad has established. She has tantrums when she comes home, takes hours to settle back into our house. Her dad drags her to weddings, parties, church, his in laws, etc when she is there and she does not like that. She feels like her dad doesn't know her at all and does not trust her or respect her. So after talking with her several times, and her begging me for years, I finally told her dad that she would not be coming every other weekend anymore. Only once a month. Well he doesn't want to do that. He said that is not enough time to have consistency with her. He denies being selfish and feels he has earned the right to see her at least every other weekend. "even a court would agree" he said. He said he does everything I have ever asked. Which has been 5 reschedules out of 26, but probably only 5 out of 46. OH! and he wants to spank her. I'm tempted to take complete custody of her, and not let him see her until a court makes me, but I am not up for that much of a battle. He only agreed to letting this one weekend slide and that he would talk to her when he sees her on the 17th. So I am going to have to figure something out. We see the psychologist on the 14th. Hopefully she can help us.
So....DD#1 is having a hard time lately. She got the official ADHD diagnosis. Things have been difficult at school and a little at home as well. I am not very organized but thats ok for me. On the other hand not being very organized is really hard on her. She recently made the decision to only go to her dad's house once a month. He is not taking very kindly to that. He just threw the word court at me, which I think would be a good idea but an expensive idea. I feel it is more important for her to be successful at school and establish relationships with adults that will treat her with respect than to continually have to deal with the feelings of neglect the inconsistency causes her. She doesn't feel as secure at her dad's house and he can not put her needs above his own. He doesn't even see what he is doing. He has moved 10-11 times in the last 10 years and out of 26 weekends over the last year he has rescheduled 15. She pretty much stays in her room, according to her, while she is there, and does not like the routine her dad has established. She has tantrums when she comes home, takes hours to settle back into our house. Her dad drags her to weddings, parties, church, his in laws, etc when she is there and she does not like that. She feels like her dad doesn't know her at all and does not trust her or respect her. So after talking with her several times, and her begging me for years, I finally told her dad that she would not be coming every other weekend anymore. Only once a month. Well he doesn't want to do that. He said that is not enough time to have consistency with her. He denies being selfish and feels he has earned the right to see her at least every other weekend. "even a court would agree" he said. He said he does everything I have ever asked. Which has been 5 reschedules out of 26, but probably only 5 out of 46. OH! and he wants to spank her. I'm tempted to take complete custody of her, and not let him see her until a court makes me, but I am not up for that much of a battle. He only agreed to letting this one weekend slide and that he would talk to her when he sees her on the 17th. So I am going to have to figure something out. We see the psychologist on the 14th. Hopefully she can help us.
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