The contract changes we made have been accepted by my IPs. They are signing and mailing the contract to me. I'm so excited. That's one more step completed. And I'm really happy that they accepted the changes I had asked for. These people are just so amazing and are going to make terrific parents. I am so happy to be working with them.
I also hope I can give them twins. I never thought of twins as high risk but based on a lot of reading on SMO, it turns out they are, or should be. I am not supposed to want to carry twins. It really will take a toll on my body. But I just want to give them(IPs) everything that I can. Plus what a cool experience to carry twins. What a nice belly I will have to love on while I bake babies. It honestly excites me. I had a dream a few nights ago that I delivered boy girl twins each with a full head of hair. They were exceptionally smart babies and had leanred to roll over before even leaving the hospital. Weird dream. I even had to have a c-section in my dream, which is something I am pretty afraid of, but it went fine in my dream :)
So yesterday at work, a nurse was asking me questions about the surrogacy. She is one of the people who know they can not be a surrogate. Fine, whatever, I don't spend my time trying to convince her to become one, but she seems to want me to see things from her side, which is that there is no way to carry a baby without getting attached as if it is your own. Nothing I say is making her feel more confident that I will be fine. We were talking about our previous pregnancies, her children, my child. And I said that when I was pregnant, my DD would push her feet out so hard that I could count her toes. So this lady says "See! That's attachment" So I guess counting the toes of babies would make any person want to kidnap them? Is that what she is saying? That if I were to be able to count the toes of the babies I will be pregnant with for my IPs, that would suddenly change my mind?! Do people think that I have not thought about what it is going to feel like to carry a baby, to feel that baby move, to help it grow, then to return said child to its parents? Do people think I woke up one day and decided that I would just pop out a baby and give it to a random person? What is wrong with people? I UNDERSTAND that I will feel this baby move just like I would feel my own baby. The difference is, this baby is not mine and never was. I don't know why people think I don't understand what I am doing. I met a wonderful couple who can not have a child any other way, than to put their babies into another woman's womb. That sucks in and of itself. But I will try to make it as easy and joyous for them as I can. And when that baby has gotten nice and big and chubby and cute, and is ready to be born, I will deliver this beautiful child to his/her/their waiting parents. I will (hopefully) see the joy and happiness they will feel FINALLY being able to hold their heart's desire. And that is what I get to take with me from the hospital. The fact that I changed someone's life, for the better. I made a difference in the world. People are happy because of me. What more could I ask for?
Sorry this has turned into a rant.
Anyway, contracts are done. I hope my IPs pick a great egg donor and we can move on to cycle soon!! I am so excited for this! (I may not be as thrilled when the morning sickness kicks in, or when I am too huge to even eat, but in the end it is ALL worth it!)
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