Surrogacy contract RANT

I think I may literally be the worst blogger ever. I wish I could channel my wit and sarcasm into hilarious posts about anything. But it seems those moments when I shine are in real life and not here. So sorry you miss out on them. Apologies for all the hostility about to ensue....

So we are in the throes of surrogacy contract lawyer BS. I hate hate HATE this part of the process. Every lawyer needs to out lawyer the first lawyer and prove how big his proverbial penis is. Ok maybe its not that dramatic but seriously, do not talk to me like I am stupid. Assume I can and have read and already googled anything necessary to understand this stupid piece of unenforceable malarkey. AND that I have formulated my opinions and wishes based on actual shit and not just the way the wind blew that day. Its incredible how the IFs and I could be on the same page until two dumbass attorneys read that page and interpret it totally differently from what we've already agreed to, and from each other. Why does it have to be soooooo complicated. Why does it take 30 pages of run on sentences to accomplish this??! We are 9 days away from insems. 9. And my lawyer is taking the rest of the month off after tomorrow. We still do not have this thing ironed out. 
I have ZERO desire to take potential baby anywhere with me after its birth. R&J are it's parents. End of story. In all seriousness, I really want help make their family and to suffer for the next 9 months and hope to grow a giant baby belly but that is neither here nor there at this point. 

On another note, I have been wondering if I should somehow document this process and pregnancy for potential baby to have one day. It seems more than likely that at some point potential baby will have a grasp of basically how babies are made, and will come to the realization that a woman needed to be involved at some point here. Hopefully potential baby will be happy with all the effort and hard work that went into their creation. I suppose a scrapbook would be good. Maybe 2. One for R&J when they need to have that conversation. And one for me to keep in case I ever get to have that conversation. 

Guess we need to iron out this contract.....